Doubts And More Rantings

NOTE: More rantings, again. Yes blogs are meant to keep thoughts, even if they are just temporary.

These few days, I've been interviewing potential new SAC members, and some of them were really confident. I remember I was like that during my interview too. I was confident of everything, and never for a second I thought I would fail. True enough I passed. And if you know me well enough, I'm a perfectionist, and confident about most things.

But now, I'm having doubts about studying Med in India. For once in my life I'm actually doubting my own capabilities. There are just too many doubts in my mind now. Can I can cope with Med? And eventually the pressures of being a doctor?

I've been reading a Manipal student's blog, and from what she writes about her tests, its really hard. And as we all know, Med isn't a play-today-pray-tomorrow type of course. It really requires alot alot of time and hard work. Will that be too much for me to handle?

I've also been thinking of wasting 6months and register for the IMU September intake. But I've heard alot about IMU. There are hardly any dissections. If I were to go IMU instead, would that make me a less experienced doctor? Sheng's sister seems to be fine and happy in IMU. Also, IMU is walking distance from my house, so I wouldn't need to leave my home. And I wouldn't need to go India. zzZ

My sister already left for Australia. Celeste and Eilene will be leaving soon. And a whole bunch of my friends are there. By going to India, would I miss out alot? My sister seems to be having fun there. But rationally thinking, MelbU's post grad med isn't a very wise choice. I'll be spending 2 extra years and alot of money. Why am I even thinking about MelbU now. My offer lapsed few weeks ago. zzZ

My whole application process into Manipal was beyond smooth. Today apply, tomorrow interview, and on the spot I got accepted. TWO DAYS ONLY?!! Come on, it's Med course, Vivek took more than half a year to apply for his Med course in Newcastle. Even Philip had to wait so long for his reply from IMU. If mine isn't beyond smooth, what is? After that, many people have been telling me how good India Med is. Is that a sign to show that God is telling me to go for Manipal? But the major problems are appearing now. I can't get my student visa. Is that an opposite sign to show that God doesn't want me to go Manipal? It's just too contradicting. I'm so confused now. I wish God would appear in front of me now and direct me what to do. Things would be so much easier then.

Okay that's enough of ranting. LeeZhien, Sheng and Eilene would have heard enough from me on MSN. Thanks for your time and patience, and sorry for having to listen to my rantings. Of all the advices I got from them, I think Eilene gave me the most precious advice. Just pray and leave everything in God's hands. And that's exactly what I'll do now. I'll just PUSH!! [P]ray [U]ntil [S]omething [H]appens!!